It's the journey rather than the destination

Prior to leaving Colorado Springs, a friend took me to breakfast. One of the concepts we discussed was how many people are driven by their destinations rather than the process. I know many people who feel the same way. In fact, that has always been my MO until the event. You know, the day I became aware that my marriage was no longer sacred in the eyes of my spouse.

Suddenly, time didn't seem to have that much of a hold on me with regards to anything but making valiant efforts to save the covenant we had made in our youth. Time in the car, at the grocery store, in the classroom, in prayer, in the midst of journaling, in making meals... it did not seem to move. On the one hand, the days passed too quickly as I frantically pulled out all the stops attempting to repair and upgrade what had been destroyed. On the other, life seemed to travel through a viscous atmosphere.

I would notice things that had never caught my attention before. God sent signs of love through the cooing of the dove, a hug of a friend, even silence. Silence became a state of being, a place of refuge, a time of contemplation. I could not listen to the radio or watch TV. I had too much to consider, I guess. Being a controller, I had to figure out what comes next.

Granted, I didn't figure it out. My intentions did not come to pass. My vision was much narrower than the Father's direction took me. My marriage died, though I still think there is a part of me that has not completely accepted that. (Maybe that is what this excursion is going to address???) But, one of my take aways has been the realization that everything is really about the journey (and taking lots of restroom breaks.)

I recently acquired a new iPhone. I am learning to like it more than I should. I downloaded a few audiobooks and my passenger seat is no longer full of CDs that I have to rifle through to get just the perfect book or music. I just pull out the new contraption, click on the iPod application and start a book. On Friday, upon my departure, I did just that and completed most of one book along the way. The following day, I began the same way and would have continued with the practice until something caught my eye and my mind.

I am missing things by keeping the interior of my car filled with sound. "Hmmmm! So, silence was one of the practices that helped me see God's communications and gifts." I turned off the iPod and watched. Granted, it came back on when I started to get tired. I even stopped at a rest area in Iowa that touted WiFi service to download a new book. But, in my most alert moments, I noticed things.

~ white is the new red for barns in Iowa

~ I am much happier to see cows in pastures rather than stock yards

~ the cows, which had been black throughout Nebraska and Iowa, are now spotted

~ steeples are popping up all over the place and I am stopping to get some decent shots

~ I had the chance to go into an original Pony Express Station in Guntherburg

~ the doves in WI coo the same way they do at the Cenacle Retreat House in Houston, TX They are singing to me the very same song God had them sing to me when I felt like I was completely dying inside. "I love Laurel Lee."

Though the items listed are trivial, they feed my spirit and are part of an awakening I need. I'm not dying inside, but I am still searching. Who isn't?

The journey, the journey, how I have learned to love the journey over the past 5 years.

I hope you are blessed with your own journey and realizations today.